9th
que sera, sera.
I definitely wouldn’t classify myself as an optimist. But I wouldn’t consider myself a pessimist either. I suppose I would define my outlook on life generally as a “realist” whatever that means.
Depending on the situation, I can be happy, or have faith in a certain outcome. But there are also times when I truly belive that things won’t work out, even though I secretly wish they would. So I pretty much hope on things working out. I’m not sure still which category this would put me in.
One of the things I hate most in the world is being disappointed. And yet, I find myself surrounded by people and situations that disappoint me, more often than not. I know these things happen because I want to believe. I want to hope. I expect that it just can’t happen again can it? And it does. And I’m surprised?
Not believing, not having faith, is just no way to live. It’s like the boy who doesn’t have a “best friend” because he just can’t let someone in. He doesn’t trust people. And as much as it sucks having your trust broken, it makes life so much better when there are people around you who you can confide in.
It makes me sad to think that there are people who just can’t look on the bright side, because they need to believe in the worst. It’s tempting too. You could look at it as always winning. If things go bad, then you were “right” all along. Yet if things work out, then even better! Because then things are good. And you can be happy, even though you may actually be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Yet I just can’t be one of those people who always believes things will work out. Because otherwise I will find myself in the position of being disappointed even more often than I already am.
So where does this leave me? I guess I just remain stoic. Believe that “whatever happens, happens” and chalk it up to a deterministic fate.
As for always believing in people who disappoint me? I guess that’s just a cycle that will continue. Because even though in the end, I have to deal with disappointment, it makes the journey easier to deal with. And that’s all anyone is really looking for isn’t it?
